Sadly, this will be our last newsletter. The Earth is going away.
I have it on good authority (rhymes with 'ikipedia') that the end of the world is coming - sooner than you might think. December 21st, 2012 is THE day.
That's it. Finito. The Mayans said so. Sort of. Not really. It's all over the news and the Internet, so I'm pretty sure it's happening.
On December 22nd I'm fairly certain that our network, servers, and everything else that lives within our offices and datacenters will still be there.
But what good is the Internet if nobody's around to use it?
I, for one, am making preparations by doing everything I've always wanted to do!
I started by selling everything I own.
As of about a week ago, I've stopped wearing clothes.
I'm trying one new illegal drug a day for the rest of my life.
I'm devoting all of my free time to the creation of horrendous art.
I've discovered a newfound appreciation for fire, low-grade pyrotechnics, and things that glow.
I've got piercings in my earlobes that are so big you can see right through them!
I've attempted to barter for goods and services with bottled water, alcohol, and sex. (Key word - attempted.)
I've learned to juggle fire and swallow swords.
Wait a minute...
The Mayans didn't predict the end of the world.
They predicted Burning Man!
I...have to make some phone calls.
Also, does anyone know how long salvia lasts?
Simon Says... (Written by CEO Simon Anderson!)
I'm going to keep this short and sweet.
We appreciate all of you so much. We love what you do. And we strive to deliver the best value web and cloud hosting for entrepreneurs and developers in the world. So you can look back each year during the holidays, and pat yourself on the back for a year well done. Because enabling you to quickly and easily get things done, creating and sharing on the Internet is what we're all about.
You've been getting things done all year. That blog that you dreamed up and have passionately published your views to - DONE! The website for your business - DONE! The development and test environment for your next web or mobile application - DONE! The live production application to deliver content or entertainment or simplify the world - DONE!
Thanks for pushing the world forward. The world needs people like you. Authentic, passionate, opinionated, entrepreneurial people.
There's big opportunities and challenges ahead in 2013. Let's get them DONE!
And happy holidays.
(Now back to Brett!)
EASY Google Analytics
If you've got a website and you're not using Google Analytics, you're doing something wrong.
"GA" is an incredibly powerful tool - completely free - that gives you remarkable insights into your website's visitors. It goes way, WAY beyond reporting simple stats like OS, browser type, and screen resolution.
Google Analytics will let you track - in real time - who's using your website, what they're clicking on, and where they're going. It also lets you track and analyze the performance of specific campaigns, optimize your entire conversion funnel, and buzzword buzzword buzzword!
In fact, Google Analytics is SO powerful and its reporting is SO extensive that they even offer free online training to prep you for an (optional) $50 certification test.
Because Google Analytics is so popular, so useful, and so FREE, we've made it easier than ever to integrate its tracking prowess into your website.
You now don't even need to TOUCH your website's content to insert Google Analytics' tracking code. We'll do it for you!
Just visit the "Manage Domains" section of your web panel...
...click to 'Edit' any 'Fully Hosted' domain, and click the checkbox to enable Google Analytics. You'll need to provide us with your GA account ID, so be sure to create one if you haven't already at...
WordPress 3.5 is alive!
If you've set your one-click installation of WordPress to auto-upgrade, you can expect that to happen within the next few days (if it hasn't already!) If not, you can manually force an update right now!
WordPress 3.5 brings with it the usual raft of bugfixes, improvements, and other under-the-hood tweaks that only a blogger could love.
• A new media manager! It's so much prettier.
• A new default theme! Despite its simple elegance, it manages to showcase all the latest business in themery.
• Admin enhancements! It's Retina display-ready now, just like PhotoShop! I think they actually beat Adobe by a day on this...
• Plenty of new tools that should make theme and plugin developers much happier.
Keeping your WordPress installation up-to-date is a lot like getting your kids vaccinated. You're not just helping yourself, you're also helping everyone else on the Internet, whether or not they believe in science.
WordPress + DreamObjects = BFF
DreamObjects is our eminently affordable, technologically adorable, platform-portable, cloud storage service. With its S3 and Swift- compatable API, DreamObjects is very developer friendly!
But what about Joe Blogger? He knows his way around WordPress, boy howdy, and all this talk of APIs is enough to make his eyes roll back into his head like he's getting ready to projectile vomit in 360 degrees. How is this useful to HIM?
Fear not, my queasy friends, for there exists a WordPress plugin that makes excellent use of DreamObjects!
"DreamObjects Plugin" was written by our own Mika Epstein (aka Ipstenu)! Once installed, the plugin will automatically back up your entire WordPress installation (both your database and any associated files) to your ready-and-waiting storage buckets over at DreamObjects.
You can even specify exactly how often and how much data gets sent to DreamObjects to help manage your usage and keep costs under control.
Cloud storage and WordPress aren't two things that often get mentioned in the same sentence, but it JUST happened! We're pretty excited and can't wait to share with you some other creative uses of DreamObjects in the weeks to come!
DreamHost WTF: CloudFlare
What's That Feature? It's CloudFlare!
'Tis the season to push through some online sales, amirite? If you sell anything online you are acutely aware that these last few weeks of the year are absolutely CRUCIAL for your business.
We've partnered with CloudFlare to help keep your sites available and running as quickly and as efficiently as possible year-round!
The technology behind the scenes at CloudFlare is as magical and wondrous as a snowfall in Los Angeles - and equally confusing. All you really need to know is that, on average, CloudFlare-enabled websites load twice as quickly as those that are less enlightened.
You may have noticed that we're big fans of free things 'round these parts. That's why you can get started with CloudFlare TODAY, free of charge. There's no silly "free trial" business involved - free is free, Buddy!
CloudFlare's free service tier can be enabled immediately from the "Manage Domains" section of your web panel - in the exact same place you probably just visited when you turned on Google Analytics!
In addition, CloudFlare PLUS is a unique-to-DreamHost upgrade that adds things like on-the-fly image resizing and support for SSL to the already feature-packed basic CloudFlare service offering. That magic costs a little bit extra - $9.95/month - but it's money well spent from what you've told us!
The DreamHost Site Of The Month is a coveted title reserved for a select few DreamHost customers who do incredible things, incredibly, on the Internet.
As voted by you, the winners from NOVEMBER are as follows...
Neat! It's sort of like The Pirate Bay, just without all the links to copyrighted material! And also there are puzzles.
I may not speak Spanish, but I am fluent in pretty pictures.
Remember, you can always click through to the DreamHost Site Of The Month section of your account control panel at any time to submit your site, vote on candidates, and view all winners past and present. (Winners appear in bold.)
Nice work, everyone!
See ya next month, probably!
P.S. - If the world doesn't end this month you'll be on the receiving end of another DreamHost newsletter in January. If it DOES end next month, unsubscribing now would largely just be symbolic. If I were you I'd just let it ride.