The Alligator King loved his swamp. It was beautiful and full of other nice alligators, all very skilled at doing alligator things. As its population grew the Alligator King was pleased to see the boundaries of his kingdom expand with the needs of his people. The denizens of the Alligator Kingdom were always able to eat their fill of fish, birds, and other tasty things that alligators liked to eat.
The Alligator King had heard tales of other, distant animal habitats, some far beyond the borders of his impressive swamp. While animals from different species didn't tend to hang out much, they had always maintained a friendly distance and had a healthy respect for each other's habitats. It was this mutual respect that kept the animal kingdom from descending into chaos, and an unwritten truce that the Alligator King was happy to be a part of.
Everything in the swamp was perfect. Or at least, it seemed that way.
Secretly the Alligator King yearned to leave the swamp and see the world. He wanted to spend time with hatchlings of his own and, frankly, running the swamp had become a bit of a chore. The King was eager to take on new challenges but felt shackled to a kingdom of reptiles looking to him for daily guidance. He felt imprisoned - trapped in a gilded cage of his own design.
One day The Alligator King received an intriguing proposition. A man wearing khaki pants identifying himself as a "zookeeper" from a tribe of "Environmental Impact Guys" wandered in on a rowboat and offered to take over the running of the swamp. He promised the King that the EIG team would continue to run things around the swamp as they always had been - with minimal changes. Plenty of alligators would continue to receive the same benefits they'd grown accustomed to, and the swamp itself would only continue to grow and flourish under their care.
In exchange, the Alligator King was promised an "airplane" of his very own with which he could roam the world and see whatever he wanted to see - do whatever he wanted to do. He would always be welcome to visit the swamp, of course, but the King was promised the one thing he wanted most of all - freedom.
Hours after placing his muddy clawprint on the paperwork handing control of the swamp over to EIG, the Alligator King relaxed alone on his favorite swamp-side hammock with a chilled swampwater martini. As the sun went down his ears gradually filled with the hypnotic chirping of crickets, the croaking of frogs, and the pluckings of a lone banjo off in the distance. He had grown up with these sounds and would miss them dearly.
While his bank account was full, the once and former king's heart felt empty. He took a deep pull from his beverage and stretched out on his hammock, looking to the night sky for guidance.
Had he made the right decision? he wordlessly wondered to the crescent moon as it bobbed among the clouds. But no answer came. The moon could only cast light below on all that the Alligator King had worked to build since his 18th birthday.
All that lay before him was his no more - exchanged for his own freedom in a heated moment of wanderlust.
He didn't know whether to laugh or cry.
Soon enough he had his answer as a single tear escaped his double- eyelid. It dripped down his cheek and across his quivering lip to disappear silently into the murky waters below.
The moon cried for its friend, too.
(But on the dark side so no one could see.)
Simon Says... (Written by CEO Simon Anderson!)
US Independence Day in the middle of the week? That confused a lot of people. When to take those extra days of vacation - before or after? No dilemma for friendly Canadians though, who smartly had their independence celebration a couple of days before.
Either way, we at DreamHost think that independence is a very good thing. In fact we think independence, together with its close cousin freedom of choice, are the special ingredients that have delivered incredible global change for the good. As individuals, companies and even countries, independence gives us all the ability to freely pursue our passions, noble goals, and yes, even happiness.
It's also a big part of the source code - the human DNA - of DreamHost today. True independence enables us to pursue our vision to enable individuals, developers and entrepreneurs to launch and grow their dream blogs, sites and apps on the web. Freely. Inexpensively. Openly. And without the creativity crushing influence of financiers and the big end of town.
We're independent and employee nurtured and owned, and damn proud of it. It's a better way to be. It frees us to give value to customers, not bankers. I think that's a great thing to celebrate anytime.
Happy web independence day, DreamHosters!
(Now back to Brett!)
Tour Our New Data Center!
As Simon mentioned last month, our east-coast data center is just about ready for action. Its grand opening will mark DreamHost's first significant presence at a data center outside of Southern California!
DreamHost servers will soon be deployed within RagingWire's brand new data center in Ashburn, Virginia. RagingWire has named their facility "The Bolt" - in honor of Frankenstein, brought to life with lots of electricity!
Hah! I'm just kidding. That's not true. They used to slaughter cows there.
Anyway, if you're located in or around Ashburn, Virginia, get ready. We're privileged to be able to invite a few of you with us to The Bolt's grand opening and ribbon-cutting ceremony on July 31st!
If you've never seen the inside of a data center before, or are just curious about where your DreamHost sites may one day live, this is a unique opportunity for you to go behind the scenes and see where the sausage gets made - with DreamHost at your side! It would be our honor to be your sausage consultants for a day.
Simon will be there! I'll be there too. In fact quite a few DreamHosters will be there in Virginia, representing WEST COAST UP IN THIS PIECE.
Space at this event is *extremely* limited, so we'll be picking names from a hat on July 16th to find out who will get to attend this July 31st extravaganza.
For more information, and to throw your name into the ring, be sure to visit:
Reaching Out & Touching America's D.C.
Our Reach Out & Touch You Tour officially wrapped up in May, but it was such a smashing success that we've added one additional stop on our tour!
If you aren't able to make it to our data center walkthru on the 31st, or even if you are, good things are happening the very next day just across the river in Washington, D.C.!
For three hours on August 1st you'll be able to meet with key members of the DreamHost team over childish appetizers and grown-up drinks. This is a great chance for you to let us know what you like about your DreamHost experience - and what you'd like us to focus on in the future.
The same DreamHost crew from Virginia will also be there in D.C., so if you've ever wanted to corner our CEO to GET SOME DARN ANSWERS, now's your chance!
Be sure to RSVP and claim your ticket at...
We hope to see you there!
Meet us at HostingCon 2012!
HostingCon 2012 is coming to Boston July 16th-18th...and so are we!
Even if you won't be attending the show, we'd still love to meet you in Boston! Read on to find out how...
If you ARE attending the show, DreamHost co-founder Dallas Kashuba will appear on a panel entitled "Bedroom to Boardroom: Making the Leap from Entrepreneur to Big Business" July 16th at 11AM.
Our VP of Human Resources Art Elizarov will also take the stage Tuesday at 2PM in his session "Organizational Diversity and the Bottom Line: The Business Case for Diversity."
We'll also be throwing a party, just as we did at HostingCon 2011, for any show attendees AND any DreamHost customers who make their way to Boston, home of delicious baked beans and a harbor full of two-hundred- year-old tea.
Some pics from last year:
To register to "Game On With DreamHost" in 2012, just click your way through to our event page and claim your ticket now!
Some months the frequent flyer miles just fall from the sky like rain.
Clouds Are Gathering...
Coming soon - very soon, in fact - DreamHost will be launching a cloud storage product that will be unlike anything else in the industry.
I can't tell you why it'll be awesome, but I can tell you that it'll be awesome in ways that I can't tell you about.
Obviously we can't really say too much else about it yet, but we CAN say that DreamHost customers (YOU!) will be among the first admitted to a private test of the service.
For some cryptic and not-particularly-detailed information about what we've been working on for the past year, AND to sign up to be notified when this mystical creation becomes available to the public at large, be sure to visit our website:
We promise this will be worth the wait.
WordPress 3.4.1 Now Available
WordPress 3.4.1 hit the streets in June, and shortly thereafter our one- click installer was updated to serve up all of its glorious enhancements.
If you've used our one-click installer to install WordPress anywhere on your DreamHost account AND have enabled automatic updates, you've already been updated - weeks ago! How easy was that?
If you've disabled automatic updates for one reason or another, you can now upgrade to WordPress 3.4.1 with just one click from your web panel:
WordPress 3.4 brought with it something that many of you have been screaming for - enhanced theme control!
It's now possible to preview changes made to your active WordPress theme privately - before anything hits the public section of your website.
3.4.1 also includes the usual raft of under-the-hood improvements that many of you are not likely to notice immediately, but a thorough reading of the release notes may help to enlighten you...
"3.4 - it's better than before!" I tried to make that one stick, but the WordPress crew stopped replying to my emails months ago.
DreamHost WTF: Support History
What's That Feature? It's Support History!
Hey, remember that one time when you wrote in to tech support back in 2008 with a question about setting up email accounts? Sure you do!
The lovely, friendly, and helpful Andrea from our tech support team wrote back to you in great detail to explain the ins and outs of creating new email addresses on your DreamHost account - just like you asked.
You seriously don't remember that?
Okay, well, we kind of thought that might happen so it's a good thing we SAVED THE ENTIRE CONVERSATION!
Any and all emails sent between you and DreamHost - even the automated ones sent by our robotic assistants - are archived and preserved for future generations of you on your DreamHost control panel.
Any live online chats that you have with our tech support team also end up in the same place.
It's just like your Facebook timeline, but without all the boring parts!
Let's take a trip back to 2002 where you told us we wouldn't last ten years "with that unprofessional newsletter," and asked if we were "all children over there?"
You also made sure to let us know that "Toilet humor has no place in an email from a professional business!" and you surmised that "Clearly, you guys have no idea what you're doing."
Feels like only yesterday! Good times.
The DreamHost Site Of The Month is a coveted title reserved for a select few DreamHost customers. Only three winners from years past have been victims of homicides (that we know of).
You're Drawsomer than me, sir. Drawsomer than me.
Sound familiar? It should - EWD won the Design award back in March of this year as well! The difference is that this time they've submitted the *mobile* version of their website - and you voted for them again!
You know what I like? Sites that don't use Flash to do Flashy things! Nice work!
Remember, you can always click through to the DreamHost Site Of The Month section of your account control panel at any time to submit your site, vote on candidates, and view all winners past and present. (Winners appear in bold.)
See ya next month!
See ya next month!
P.S. - If you prefer your fables WITH morals, you may want to unsubscribe from this newsletter: