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May 2014 Newsletter

Introduction

The year is 2074.

Dust motes dance in a beam of sunlight as I struggle to pull the covers over my head. It's no use. Never is. The smart glass on the window stopped working a few months ago and I really don't think there's anyone left who could fix it.

I climb out of bed, hungry and sore. I make my way to the bathroom and wince as the lights come up at full intensity. "DreamComputer, no!" I moan. "Fifty percent! Fifty!" The lights dim and I shuffle to the sink. A quick wave of my hand begins a flow of slowly-warming water from the faucet which I sloppily bring up to my face in cupped hands.

I run my wet fingers along my stubbly jawline and up through my quickly- thinning hair. A glance around my empty apartment reveals nothing new. Same old place.

About a year ago I staked my claim on the 34th floor of this apartment building. Crumbling though it may appear, all things considered it's a palace. This building was clearly designed to last. It's got an underground well, a water filtration system (still works!), and solar panels to keep things humming.

It wasn't always like this.

They call me The King. The King of Neo Vegas - humanity's last holdout against the alien hordes.

I walk out to my balcony and slide into my articulating spine rejuvenator. I adjust the intensity slider to 8 and throw the massage control into full-shiatsu.

Yes, that will do nicely. Very nicely.

There can't be more than a few thousand of us left. Those of us who remain enjoy a mostly quiet life. Nobody's really bothered to take a census. What would be the point.

The dome we've constructed over the city has kept us safe from the horde's repeated attempts to break through over the years, but I'm no idiot. None of us are. We know this can't last forever and this isn't just borrowed time - it's been stolen. One day those particle beams will break through the dome and that'll be that. Our remaining living legacy will be snuffed out in seconds all in the name of soulless galactic conquest.

I can just make out the edge of the dome from my balcony. What lies beyond is a toxic wasteland, desolate and empty. Cities turned to rubble in the blink of an eye; lives snuffed out to fulfill an insatiable alien hunger for death and destruction. It's almost too much for me to think about. I try not to.

I spend most of my days making idle conversation with my computer.

You see, sixty years ago a company named DreamHost created "DreamCompute" - one of the most resilient and versatile distributed cloud computing services ever conceived by man. Powered by OpenStack and architected by DreamHost's own extremely talented engineers, DreamCompute is what we all use here in Neo Vegas. It's the only computer we need - and the only one that's still around.

An idea hits me.

"DreamComputer?" I call.

Her reply comes instantly, as it always does. "Yes, Brett?"

"Spin up another virtual machine. I want a status report on the dome."

I pause.

"And actually, I want to see inversion metrics on quadrants Q9 and... R ninetee..no, R20."

Numbers dance before me on the holo display.

"Pull back and enhance sector 7.

"Now cross-reference with the original design document and tie into what's left of the military database.

"I've got a hunch."

A sea of schematics float in the air within arm's reach. I've seen these all a million times before, but today...something's different.

Movement near the edge of the display catches my eye. One of the wireframes is pulsing red.

"My God," I say to myself. "I can't believe... How has nobody..."

My mind reels as possibilities swirl through it at a lightning pace and the faintest glimmer of hope forms in my heart.

"DREAMCOMPUTER," I yell. "Spin up another virtual machine. No, spin up FIFTY. NO! I want all available power directed to the virtual machines and I want it NOW!"

The lights in my apartment flicker and the walls around me seem to hum.

I check my watch. 7:41AM.

For as long as anyone can remember the attacks on Neo Vegas have always come daily at 7:52, the impact of the particle beams dissipating across the face of the dome like rivers of molten steel. Some of us have even taken to calling it "second sunrise."

But now I can see a way out. This is my chance. This is OUR chance. Humanity's endgame.

"DREAMCOMPUTER," I scream, "How long would it take to reverse the polarity of the dome!?"

"Nine minutes, fifty two seconds," she replies, "Brett, are you sure this is..."

"DO IT!" I yell. Let's light this candle.

The dome begins to flicker. The nearly invisible octagonal panels that compose its walls begin to shimmer and change hue in the distance, each of them several hundred meters in diameter.

I adjust the intensity setting on my polarized contact lenses for a better look. One by one, every panel of the dome flickers and I feel my heart beat in sync with each of them as DreamCompute carries out what could be its final command.

When the flickers cease, I realize the moment is near.

"DREAMCOMPUTER! Time check!"

The attack comes. The particle beams hit the dome in a firey explosion. Time stands still. My breath catches in my throat as I see the beams hit the dome and fall back on themselves as immediately they're reflected upward toward the fleet of ships in orbit.

In an instant, the sky is made fire. Massive explosions fill the sky hundreds of miles up where the diverted beams find idle targets - the very ships from which they were given life.

We've won.

I can't believe it.

But.

We've won.

I collapse to the floor, body racked with emotion, tears flowing like sausages from a sausage machine.

I may have just secured humanity's future, but I could not have done any of it without DreamCompute.

-Brett
@DreamHostBrett

Simon Says... (Written by CEO Simon Anderson!)

Time will tell if the world Brett imagines will become our reality, our dark and grimy reality. But there is no doubt that the pace of change in our world of unleashing the power of software and hardware working harmoniously (mostly) to deliver every conceivable new application is at an exponential rate.

That's a good thing for all. Even though it gets a little daunting to learn all these new enhancements of WordPress, DreamObjects cloud storage, and DreamCompute. But it's the way of the future (thanks HH), so let's go learn and embrace it together.

With haptic suits and oculus eyewear...

Best,
Simon
@DreamHostSimon

(Now back to Brett!)

DreamCompute Beta Just Got Betta!

DreamCompute may be a few years off from saving the world or accepting voice commands, but if you sign up today you'll be able to tell all your friends that you were there in the beginning!

DreamCompute is, of course, our own OpenStack-based public cloud service built for speed and designed to free you from the growth limitations inherent with dedicated, physical hardware.

DreamHost: DreamCompute

Need a virtual machine for a specific task? Spin one up! Select a pre-configured VM image from among several and you can be up and running in just seconds.

Earlier this month (at the OpenStack Design Summit) we announced that we would be expanding our limited beta of DreamCompute:

Press Release: DreamHost Announces Expanded Beta of DreamCompute

And we have! We've swung open the gates and are now slowly and carefully letting people hold our new baby.

Enter your email address on the form at...

DreamHost: DreamCompute

...to be among the first that get to play with DreamCompute during this free trial beta period!

Who are you? Win a tablet!

Every few months we like to step back and take a good long look in the mirror. We're a little older, a little wiser, and usually a little wrinklier.

We get to thinking about who we are which leads us to thinking about who YOU are which gets us to wonderin' how the two of us can continue to make beautiful things together.

We want to make sure we're giving you everything you're looking for and we can't do that if you don't tell us what you need.

We've created a pretty short survey that'll help us get there. The feedback that you give us here will directly shape the future of things to come at DreamHost.

Take The DreamHost User Survey!

Complete the survey and you'll be entered to win one of three Nexus 7 tablets, because at this point everybody's already got like half a dozen iPads filling up junk drawers, amirite? Eh?

DreamHost WTF: Domain Redirects

What's that feature? It's Domain Redirects!

I don't know if you guys have noticed, but we're knee-deep in a flood of new Top Level Domains right now. In May alone over fifteen NEW TLDs hit the scene. Among them: .best, .cool, and .ninja!

If you've registered any new domains since the deluge began, the chances are good that you're now sitting on more domain names than you have actual websites to put behind them.

Why not put those domains to work for you NOW? Domain redirects let you forward any of your registered domains to, well, pretty much anywhere you want!

If your site lives at "joeschickenshack.com" you could configure "joes.food, joeschicken.restaurant, wehavebeenclearedbythehealthdepartment.seriously" to all simply redirect visitors to your .com.

To get started, just visit the "Manage Domains" section of your account control panel:

Account Control Panel: Manage Domains

Click the button to "Add New Domain / Sub-Domain," scroll down to the "Redirect" heading, and get going!

Keep in mind that whatever domains you're attempting to redirect will need to have their DNS pointing to us for this to work:

DreamHost Wiki: DNS

And, if you're now feeling inspired to snap up some new TLDs, you can do that via the "New TLDs" section of your control panel:

Account Control Panel: New TLDs

Go nuts! It's a whole new world!

DHSOTMs

The DreamHost Site Of The Month is a coveted title reserved for a select few DreamHost customers who are among the most talented and probably most attractive content creators on the Internet today.

As voted by YOU, the DHSOTM winner in *all* categories from APRIL is...

FEEEEEEDBACK_X
"More then just a portfolio website, it's also a VJ-IN-A-BOX! Using Processing.js + HTML5 for a rich interactive experience, you'll surely get absorbed playing with optical feedback for hours..."

http://www.teddavis.org/

The lines! There are so many!

Remember, you can always visit the "DreamHost Site Of The Month" section of your account control panel at any time to submit your own site(s), vote on candidates, and view all winners past and present.

DreamHost Web Panel: DHSOTM

Nice work!

 

See ya next month!
Brett D!
@DreamHostBrett

P.S. - We will rebuild beyond the dome. Will you join us, or will you unsubscribe:

https://panel.dreamhost.com/id/?tab=contact