YOU C@#KS#CK’N SPAMMERS!

As you’ve been reading on our blog over the past few weeks we’ve been dealing with a few ongoing problems. As Josh has told you we’ve sorted through most of the major issues and things have started to settle down lately! We’ll be sure to post more information when we have more to report right here, and for up-to-the-minute action don’t forget to check out dreamhoststatus.com.

I check our general voicemail box every day. We don’t offer traditional ‘dial-in’ phone support, so most messages that get left on our voicemail are either from our vendors or from smarmy sales people looking to partner up with the 25th largest web host in the world! (That’s us, thank you very much!)

Sometimes we’ll even get automated telemarketing messages from our competitors. Those are a real hoot.

On rare days we’ll receive messages that roundhouse kick us right in the moneymaker with their awesomeness. Today is one of those days.

I tend to have trouble keeping things under wraps, so I’m sharing. This has to be heard.

These voicemails contain pretty tough language and are definitely not work-or-child-safe.

We’ve bleeped out phone numbers and email addresses to protect the enraged…(I didn’t have a microphone handy so I did my bleeping through the business end of a pair of cheap headphones.)

Angry Voicemail Part 1
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Wow! That guy’s really really mad! He gets as angry about spam as I did in oh, say, 1996.

When I first played the message to coworkers, some of them peed their pants in fear. One guy pooped and had to go home early. They were softies and needed to toughen up anyway. The Internet is serious business.

INTERNET.  Serious business.

Hissy-fit notwithstanding, if there are spammers on our network we want to know about them! We did check out the email address he mentioned and it didn’t appear to be running afoul of our tough anti-spam policy. We’re pretty sure he was just on the receiving end of a few bounced messages with forged headers. And no, we didn’t call him back. As a general rule we don’t return abusive emails or phone messages.

Maybe all that threatening and yelling weighed heavily on his soul. It must have, because he called us back half an hour later, making sure to stress that he’s going to take us on LEGALLY. He’s going to kick our a$$ LEGALLY:

Angry Voicemail Part 2
478k, .wav

Someone should really let the postmaster in Huntington Park know that there’s a guy headed their way and he HATES SPAM. We’d do it ourselves, but we moved out a year and a half ago.

You're gonna git it!

This is Brett at F$ckinDreamHost.com, signing off!