Love it or hate it, the DreamHost Newsletter will now be shared on DreamScape!
If you missed the July newsletter or your inbox decided to delete it before you had a chance to get a good laugh from Brett Dunst then please proceed reading below.
* DreamCon has already come and gone! Thank you to all who attended!
DreamHost July Newsletter
There’s a cleaning today.
The second in two weeks.
I grip the railing for support and slowly draw breath into my lungs. The air is stale here, but then again Mechanical’s been working on the scrubbers since Tuesday. I’d expect nothing less from those lazy knuckledraggers.
I pause to stare down into the depths of the silo. My eyes follow the spiral staircase as it makes its way deeper into the earth and disappears into a gritty haze that never seems to go away. Dim, flickering guidelights and an endless parade of footfalls on the burnished, sagging metal staircase are the only indication I have of any activity 50 feet above or below me.
I glance over my shoulder across the landing to the Spartan steel security counter. It looks out of place below an ancient copper sign tilted and tarnished above the entryway. It reads “30 – IT Department”
I brush my fingertips across the generations of paint still clinging to life along the inner railing before stifling a cough. It’s humid in here. If Mechanical doesn’t fix the scrubbers soon I may have to head down to 140 to make my disappointment known in person.
If I’m headed all the way down there I may as well stop at the farms on 130 and treat myself to a fresh tomato. Being the head of IT has its privileges.
But not today. Today is a cleaning day.
I watch as an endless parade of silo inhabitants ascend the stairs to the top floor. They’ll gather in the cafeteria and the adjoining lounge as they do at each and every cleaning. They’ll watch, mouths agape, at the wallscreens linked to the camera outside – our only view to the world above – as the latest cleaner scrubs the camera lens clear of dust with a woolen rag.
And they’ll watch, horrified and despondent, as the cleaner collapses and dies shortly after completing his task.
This is the way it has been since the beginning.
This is the way it will always be.
This is the way it HAS to be.
This entire silo, whether it realizes it or not, is dependent on the DreamHost IT department to keep it running.
As the head of IT, I am privy to this silo’s innermost secrets. I have been handed an ancient truth and an irrefutably massive responsibility.
My burden is great, but this is the role I shadowed for. I’ve been trained. Educated. Enlightened.
Hosting websites and data in this environment is never easy, but it’s what we were put here to do. We all have our roles to play.
DreamHost’s role is to keep things running smoothly so that YOU can get on with your life. We’ll keep the lights on and the servers humming.
If you need us, you know where to find us. Level 30.
Now get back to work.
Simon Says… (Written by CEO Simon Anderson!)
Summer’s still going strong but that doesn’t mean we’re on vacation! In fact we’ve been spending a lot of time gearing up for DreamCon – the first *ever* DreamHost user conference in early August. Whether you’re a developer, an entrepreneur, or something in between, we can’t wait to see you there and hear your stories. Read on to learn more – including how to register!
Your reception to DreamPress, our WordPress-optimized VPS-based hosting service has been incredible. We knew you wanted a fast, dependable
WordPress hosting solution, and we’re proud to say that DreamPress’
adoption rate has exceeded our wildest expectations. We met so many of
you at WordCamp San Francisco this month who weren’t shy about your love
Keep following your online dreams and we’ll see you in August!
(Now back to Brett!)
DreamCon is Here!
DreamCon is just DAYS away! August 1-3!
DreamCon is DreamHost’s first ever user conference – an action-packed three-day extravaganza of how-tos for DreamHost customers taught BY DreamHost employees and a few of our trusted partners. We’re doing this for YOU!
If you’re in or around Los Angeles, or can GET to Los Angeles, we would absolutely love to have you there.
Tickets are still available, and we’ll be accommodating on-site registrations as well if you can’t be bothered with this whole Internet
We’re very grateful for the support of our sponsors: eNom, Inktank, WordPress, Juniper Networks, CloudFlare, and AMD!
All of them will have reps at DreamCon to field questions and get you set on the straight and narrow.
We’ll see you there!
DreamHost WTF: DreamPress
What’s that feature? It’s DreamPress!
WordPress and DreamHost. DreamHost and WordPress.
Not only is it a match made in CamelCase heaven, but it has blossomed and grown into something that’s MORE than the sum of its parts.
After years of supporting, hosting, and developing WordPress, we’re confident that we know exactly what it takes to deliver the BEST WordPress experience in the world.
That’s why we created DreamPress.
DreamPress is powered by dynamically scaled VPS web and MySQL servers and sits behind a Varnish web caching app accelerator to deliver what we believe to be one of the fastest, most reliable WordPress experiences on the planet.
DreamPress is competitively priced at $24.95 per site per month, but for a limited time we’ve dropped that down to $19.95 so that you can see firsthand the difference it can make in your fast paced WordPress lifestyle. (That price will STAY at $19.95 for as long as you keep the service active!)
The best part? You can manage your DreamPress account with the exact same DreamHost control panel that you’ve come to know and love after all these years. You won’t have to learn anything new, you won’t have to change the way you interact with WordPress at all.
It just works!
You can sign up for DreamPress on your web panel.
You’ll be able to create a new WordPress installation OR migrate over an existing WordPress site if it’s currently managed by our one-click software installer.
Affiliates! 50 Shades of Summer!
You guys are going to bankrupt us!
Seriously, cut it out!
Our 50 Shades of Summer affiliate bonus program still has a month to go, but you just won’t stop referring new customers!
We pay you $97 for each new customer you send to DreamHost.
That’s nothing new.
But now through August 31st, 2013 you’ll earn an extra $50 for every 5 shared web hosting customer referrals that you refer.
SO MANY of you are taking advantage of these bonuses that we almost can’t afford to keep our office masseuse on the payroll.
Please stop being so awesome!
The DreamHost Site Of The Month is a coveted title reserved for a select few DreamHost customers who have proven themselves to be excellent content creators and/or masters of gaming the voting system. Either way, they’ve earned some recognition!
As voted by YOU, the winner from JUNE in the OVERALL, CONTENT, DESIGN, STRUCTURE, and ORIGINALITY categories (a CLEAN SWEEP!) is:
WinningWP (Winning WordPress)
“Tips, insights and resources for people who play with WordPress”
Wait – you like WordPress TOO!? Let’s hang out!
Remember, you can always click through to the DreamHost Site Of The Month section of your account control panel at any time to submit your site, vote on candidates, and view all winners past and present.
(Winners appear in bold.)
Nice work, everyone!
See ya next month!
P.S. – Please read Wool by Hugh Howey. Or unsubscribe from this awful,
awful fan fiction here: